He's still growing

Hi everyone! This is a story I wrote quite some time ago (during winter) , so it's a little old but this one is from a boy's perspective because it was inspired by some guy friends of mine.  It was quite hard to write from a guy's point of view for the first time , but I tried..enjoy! :)

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There he was lying on the grass by the bridge. He laid there on his backpack that was slowly crunching away under his big head so he had decided to use his arms for support.
There he was...
"How did I end up here?" He asked himself out loud, in a slightly sad voice. He spoke the words delicately, just as his heart was at the moment. One wrong step and the ice would break.

He opened his eyes to a man much older than himself. He followed the slow foot steps of the man that fascinated his vision. Tall, dark and handsome , a teenage girl would say. But he was no teenage girl fangirling over some good-looking fella , he was a 18 year old man, yes a man. That's what he'd been convincing himself from the moment he blew his last candle away on the 24th of June.

The tall silouette had dark raven hair that reached up to his ears. He noticed some cuts on the back of his head. "Must've been a bad barber", he thought. Light skintone with dark brown eyes that almost resembled his hair. Somewhere along the lines he thought he'd been looking at his own reflection. But that seemed impossible to him since the man was much prettier than himself. The 18 year old boy wasn't confident about his looks. He had failed to even notice the huge age difference between them.

The good-looking man walked up to him. He didnt say a word, he just sat down next to the 18 year old boy. After a minute of silence, the man finally spoke : "It's green, isn't it?

"What?"

"The grass on my side."

- It was the 23rd of January-

"What?" The boy asked again. The man was silent again for a minute or two. The boy had a very confused look on his face, but the man didn't care about it at all, because he knew he would understand it someday. 

                                    ~ Mita ~

Discovering beauty part 1

Hey everyone, how have u been?
Okay today I'm going to talk about beauty and self love, but before you continue reading this one, make sure you've read the story that came before this to understand this post. To read the story klick here.

Now that you've read the story you can continue reading this post...

Now this seems like a really silly story, but we actually experience such stories every day. 

We ask ourselves: 

Why are my legs so ugly? Why is my tummy so big? 

Why isn’t my nose shaped like that other nose?  Why don’t I have the perfect eyebrow game? 

Why don’t I hardly have any eyebrows?
Lol, for the people who go through this one: I know the struggle is real.

Why doesn’t that dress look good on me like it did on my friend? Why can’t I be like this one? 

And I can go on and on with questions, but you guys know what I’m trying to say. 

I remember when I was younger I would ask my self so many on those questions that I listed above. 

I really used to get bothered by them. Even know some of the questions still haunt me, 

but just as my mum told my sister: are we crisps? Does it really matter how we look?

Do we really have to change ourselves to be perfect? 

Do we really need the plastic surgery or the extreme diets?

Okay I understand that when you are not healthy, you need to go on a HEALTHY diet and become healthy.

When I was in 1 year of secondary school (1st year of middle school or in some countries grade 7)I used to feel awful about myself.
I used to be laughed at very often. 

They would call me fat and ugly.
They would insult me because of my braids and my clothes.
They would exclude me and tell me that they don’t like me, even if they didn’t know me, just because I looked the way I did.

I used to feel so bad. I didn’t have many friends back then.. 

People would be fake to me a lot of times. 

The few friends I had, would be scared to come up for me,

because they didn’t want to get teased themselves and I understood it, but I felt really bad..

It got so bad that in my 2nd year I started binging. I wouldn’t eat at all during the day 

and when I’d come home I’d eat like a horse.. I did that for 6-7 months, I just kept telling people I was on a diet or that I’d eaten already.

 Instead of loosing weight, I gained a lot and the teasing continued.

 I felt so bad at a certain point, 

that I didn’t even want to live any more.I hated school, I hated everything. 

At home they also noticed me gaining weight and my parents
started telling me to watch what I eat, that made me feel even worse.

They didn’t know that I didn’t eat at all during lunch, they just assumed that I ate,

because I used to pack my own lunch and my sisters’. So they thought I ate, while I’d only pack my sisters’ lunch and go to school like that. 

Sometimes I’d pack for myself, but I just wouldn’t eat it.

 By then I made some friends and they kept telling me to eat, but I just couldn’t. 

In my 3rd year I stopped binging.

 They would be days when I’d forget to pack my lunch (like seriously forget, not faking it),

 but then my friends would scold me and tell me to eat whatever was there..
So we’d share lunches very often, because I just couldn’t get used to making lunch for myself. 

In my 5th year I finally started eating normally. 

My class was much kinder, so I wasn’t teased that much and I had more friends..

I really enjoyed going to school and I reflected on myself a lot during that year (this was last year btw).

I really thought about my actions and what was right and what was wrong
and how I could improve myself.
I figured that if I really wanted to loose weight I should do it for myself and do it properly! If I really wanted to be happy I had to get myself together and start looking at myself differently. I had to try and convince myself of my own beauty, but how?

But okay this post is getting too long, so I’ll write a part 2 soon. :) 

keep this in mind though: 

 

Lots of love,

~Meli, Mita and Musa