Hey I'm back with a new part for BACIB (Being A Christian In Belgium) and for those of you who have read my fight against time you might manage to connect the 2.
I was 6 when I started praying for a second little brother or sister or the both, as I used to think you couldn't play a lot of different games with just two people, as for a lot of the games there had to be at least three people, and because I already had a sister I now wanted a brother. I prayed for one daily. I had waited so long until I said to myself : "never mind it's okay now because I'm too old to play with kids." When I was 12 and a half my mom became pregnant. My sister and I were so happy thinking that we would finally get a brother and we were so happy and I thought that my prayer was finally answered. Then on 10/08 of that year the baby was born.. It was a girl.. We were so happy that we got a little sister, but were disappointed that we didn't get a brother.. Still we loved her so much and played with her a lot. We enjoyed almost every moment with her ( I just hated the times that she needed to be changed or was crying :p) we couldn't wait until she started walking and talking.. My parents were so happy.. 3 Girls, Wauw.. A year and a half later I started suspecting something strange.. My mom started eating weird things again, I thought: "oh no not another one.." (I got tired of all the crying and dypers..) I was right though.. Mom was pregnant again.. I was 99% sure it was going to be a girl so I didn't really keep my hopes up and wasn't that excited as before, but still I was happy. It was the year when I would turn 15.. It was sports day. Mom told me she had an appointment at the doctor so I wasn't really worried until we got in Holland and I couldn't reach mom nor dad's phone.. I panicked.. I spent so much money trying to call them from there, but none of them answered.. I kept telling myself: "don't worry the baby isn't due till next week Friday." When I got back from the sports day dad came and picked me up and said: "let's go and see your brother." My sisters and I were all shocked, speechless and happy at the same time. I remember when seeing him for the first time I was so emotional and happy. I really had no words to say.. I just kept smiling. It actually took some time before I realised that God had actually answered my prayers: "a brother or sister or
BOTH!"
So lately I've really been struggling with time. Whenever I pray for something when I feel I need it, I always have to wait until I think it's too late and then I get the answer or I get it when I think I don't need it anymore, but we all know that God is never too late. Still why don't we just get what we want when we need it?? Honestly I prayed for 7 years before I got what I wanted, when I even started thinking that I didn't need it anymore, still my prayer was answered. You know we think we know when it is the best time to receive something, we think we need it right there and then. We don't think further, but God does. He thinks about every small detail that we don't understand then, he still sees them as important and thinks about the impact it can have on your life. Those are things we say we think about on a long term, but actually we don't. We don't at all. We only look at what we think we need at that moment, but actually only want then. I struggled for a long time wondering why God waited a total of 9 years before I got the both of them (they have 2 years difference, so 7 for the first one, but 9 in total).
This is when I partially realise now why it took so long. Because I started taking care of children when I was 13 I grew to be a very responsible person. My parents would trust me going out with them and taking care of them and playing with them and stuff. I know for some people this might sound like a normal lifestyle, but here where I live it's a very big exception. I kept working hard at school and passing and I managed to help out at home. You could say I grew up quickly, but now I realise the advantage.
I really needed it, to become responsible, cause to be honest if it wasn't for my siblings I would be such a lazy girl. I mean I'm already lazy, but I would have been even worse. Now that I know I have to set an example for someone I really try my best a lot of times. I'm not saying that I'm never lazy anymore, I mean I still am, but it's way better now. I've learnt so much in the past 4 years that a lot of people have trouble with when they have their own kids, by that time I'll know how to handle it and that makes me happy. Because now even when going out with friends my friends parents trust me and they see me as an example for their kids too. I have let them know that I am also just a kid and I really want to enjoy my childhood like every other kid and I'm glad that people now see that, but they can still trust me. So God just wanted me to grow up and learn. That is something I couldn't do at the age of 6 or I could, but it would have been different. Now I have a realistic view on life, kids,etc..
Now if you want to see it from a Bible perspective:
°Habakuk 2:3
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it
will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it
will not delay.
° Jeremiah: 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Sometimes God won't give you what you ask for, do you know why? Because it isn't what you need(maybe at that time). God only gives you what you need or let me say it like this: He gives you what your heart needs and that can also be something you want, but He only gives you the best! Just remember that. that's why Mita didn't get what she thought was the best for her. Now yesterday we were talking.. It was quite late and she told me that this is when she realised that he wasn't the right guy for her. Now we all know God won't let you go through something without learning a lesson. Thanks to this year long happy-sad-confusing experience she has learned that there is a lot more to learn and she realised her innocence when it comes to certain things.
Now this is also from the Bible:
°Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Conclusion:
God really has a plan and His timing is always right, so when He doesnt answer you immidiately, just wait the answer will come at it's right time and don't be discouraged like I was, don't loose hope, because God always answers your prayers and gives you what you ask Him acording to His will.
Today's song:
Oceans by Hillsong united:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBJJJkiRukY
🎶Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,
let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me..
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior..🎶
But something kept me going though: Last week's message, it was about peace. To be precise it was Jesus' peace. That message just kept haunting me.. I just had to write and share about it.
At that moment I kept yearning for that comfort, rest and peace in my heart. I kept praying and praying, but I kept feeling the same. I was so restless and sad that I would come home and get upset with my sister almost every day for smallest of things and I wasn't any better with the small ones.... . To be honest my mood affected us all negatively and so it really wasn't a good week. I kept thinking about that verse and wondering how I could receive that comfort and peace. I totally forgot how as I didn't re-read the verse and so I didn't read the verses after that either.. if I would I would have noticed this..
